Chat logs
This is where i’m dumping all humorous chat logs between James, Matthew, and anybody else.
We pride ourselves on the fact that every one of these exchanges did happen, unplanned, of its own accord, in an uncontrolled environment.
Current Favorite:
[3/4/2016 8:43:23 AM] James de Vries: i am so fucking psyched
[3/4/2016 8:43:38 AM] James de Vries: this companys herpes simplex virus vaccine trial just came back with no safety issues, and 90% reduction in outbraeks
[3/4/2016 8:43:45 AM] James de Vries: i own like 24,000 shares in it
[3/4/2016 8:43:51 AM] James de Vries: and its goin’ places
[3/4/2016 8:43:58 AM] James de Vries: so psyched
[3/4/2016 8:44:04 AM] James de Vries: FUCKING PSYCHED
[3/4/2016 8:44:05 AM] James de Vries: CUNT
[3/4/2016 8:44:44 AM] James de Vries: this stock is gonna two-bag and i’m going to flip my fucking pancakes
[3/4/2016 8:45:09 AM] James de Vries: TOO LATE THEY ARE ALREADY FLIPPING
[3/4/2016 8:45:22 AM] James de Vries: CALL THE PANCAKE AMBULANCE
[3/4/2016 8:47:07 AM] James de Vries: also call the PANCAKE POLICE
[3/4/2016 8:47:11 AM] James de Vries: BECAUSE THERE’S A FLIPPER ON THE LOOSE
[3/4/2016 8:47:17 AM] James de Vries: BRB WORK
James talking to himself chat logs
James: This bag of chips right
James: says ‘Hand cooked crisps’ on it
James: what the fuck could they POSSIBLY be implying with that
James: unless you’re like, a firebender, or a wizard, or some shit
James: there is no such thing as hand-cooking a chip
James: you put the chip on the fucking tray
James: and you put the tray in a fucking oven or a deep frier or some shit
James: cooking is something performed at a temperature not compatible with hands
James: Aunties exist for no other purpose than to complain constantly
—–
James: Oh man, i LOVE cocks!
(by which i meant i love cox)
—–
James: Whenever i refactor multiple similar lines of code at once using sublime texts multiple cursor feature i just want to vomit rainbows out of every orifice.
James: I don’t even feel like vomit is a strong enough word.
James: I want rainbows to come out of me the way water comes out of a broken water main
—–
James: steve sometimes I want to shoot myself in the face
James: but not to like, die
James: just to prove a dramatic point about how much everything pisses me off
James: and then i’d suck all my brains back in through the bullethole and continue programming
—–
James: jesus christ you have
James: and i don’t mean you should
James: i mean you actually have to or i will hurt you
James: listen to the messenger 2012 by infected mushroom
—–
(3:06:31 AM) James: ROFLMAO
(3:06:40 AM) James: shatter them boners
(3:06:49 AM) Amber Cox: xD
(3:06:52 AM) James: break them over your knee /w a primal roar
—–
James: I think the reason I love linux so much is the atmosphere
James: Its just like
James: if somethings not working
James: its not because linux is shit
James: its because YOU are shit
James: And the latter can be fixed
—–
[1:01:23 PM] James de Vries: OH DUDE I JUST DISCOVERED
[1:01:27 PM] James de Vries: THERES NO PHONE IN THIS ROOM ANYMORE
[1:01:30 PM] James de Vries: AAAAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSS
[1:01:34 PM] James de Vries: SO MUCH EASIER TO IGNORE IT
[1:01:37 PM] James de Vries: WHEN ITS NOT NEXT TO ME
—–
[12:49:32 AM] James de Vries: you’re pretty much scraping the bottom of the bottomest barrel at the bottom of the pile of barrels at the bottom of the mariana trench if you’re counting on james to remember shit for you
—–
(9:34:38 PM) shodyjomes: i’ve climbed a lot of trees
(9:34:46 PM) shodyjomes: some of them i never even got past the base
(9:34:54 PM) shodyjomes: but thats the first time i’ve ever felt like the tree won
—–
(3:27:01 PM) James: brb progress piss
(3:28:44 PM) James: back, victory sit
(3:28:47 PM) James: oh man that sounds like victory shit
(3:28:50 PM) James: OH MAN THAT IS NOW A THING
(3:28:53 PM) James: AS OF NOW
—–
[12:35:34 PM] James de Vries: roflmao
[12:35:38 PM] James de Vries: i clicked a link on youtube
[12:35:47 PM] James de Vries: “THE ROCK (1996) FULL MOVIE”
[12:35:56 PM] James de Vries: i wasn’t really intending to watch a full movie whatever the case
[12:36:09 PM] James de Vries: but as i started reading the comments about how much everybody loved the movie
[12:36:17 PM] James de Vries: i was like hmm maybe i’ll watch a bit and give it a go
[12:36:20 PM] James de Vries: opening credits roll
[12:36:25 PM] James de Vries: “DIRECTED BY MICHAEL BAY”
[12:36:31 PM] James de Vries: …NOPE
[12:36:33 PM] James de Vries: *close*
—–
—–
James: WOW THEY WANT US TO SUBMIT IN PDF
James: WHY DONT THEY JUST ASK US TO FIRE OUR ASSIGNMENT INTO SPACE
James: IT WOULD BE LESS RESOURCE INTENSIVE
—–
James – Friday is optional pants day said (11:53 PM):
i am
James – Friday is optional pants day said (11:54 PM):
the greatest fucking human being
to grace this planet
in the history of the world
in the times of old it was written in the stones
ONE DAY A MAN WOULD COME
WHO WOULD CODE SO HARD
THAT HE GOT ALL THE BITCHES
THAT DAY HAS COME MY FRIENDS
RISE UP, AND REJOICE! FOR YOU ARE NOW SHADYS BITCH
BECAUSE HE CODED SO HARD
James – Friday is optional pants day said (11:55 PM):
THAT NOW EVEN THE PEOPLE WHO WERE ALREADY SOMEBODY ELSES BITCH
ARE NOW BECOME POLYGABITCHES
WHICH MEANS THEY ARE MULTIPLE PEOPLES BITCH AT THE SAME TIME
JUST SO THAT THEY WERE CAPABLE OF BEING HIS BITCH TOO WITHOUT SHIRKING THEIR COMMITMENTS
WHAT WAS I SAYING
James – Friday is optional pants day said (11:56 PM):
oh right WOW that was a fuck-tonne of coding
just
wow
i did that
AGAIN
i ALWAYS do it
and every time i still can’t believe i did it
James – Friday is optional pants day said (11:57 PM):
and the thing that confuses me the most
is i actually LEARNED SHIT
like
this is university
since when do you learn shit
NEVER
thats when
so i don’t know why it happened today
but it did, so i guess thats something
James – Friday is optional pants day said (11:58 PM):
i am now going to play starcraft until i pass out
or get diamond
probably pass out
—–
James: I guess there has to be below average people or else we wouldn’t have anybody to be better than
—–
James – Friday is optional pants day says (12:30 AM):
HOW CONVENIENT
I LEVELLED UP
IN AN ELEVATOR
James: mmhm
what can i say, i’m into stabbing
OR SHOULD I SAY
STABBING
/puts on sunnies
IS INTO ME
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
—–
James: i’m in a tute motherfucker take a look at me
James: straight floatin’ in a tute down at QUT
James: its on technology, what you think about that?
James: YOU CANT STOP ME MOTHERFUCKER COZ IM IN A PRAC
James: took me 7 minutes to figure out how to make that rhyme
James: it was worth it
—–
—–
James: After friends, kill everybody
James: err
James: That came out wrong
—–
James: AH UNDER ATTACK BY REAPAAAGCHOO SNEEZED SO HARD HEADSET FELL OFF MUST PLAY NEXT 30 SECONDS WITHOUT SOUND UNTIL I GET AN APM BREAK
James: you’re not there are you
—–
James: most fucking retarded story ever right
James: so i go to a vending machine near the library to get noodles because noodles are cheap and filling right
James: girl next to me is also getting noodles, and while we’re opening our peas + flavor etc i’m like “they should really put a table out for this”
James: she agrees
James: then i go to get some hot water for my noodles, i put them in and close the little door
James: it just like shits out this tiny little bit of water, enough to wet the flavoring, and stops
James: i try several more times and it refuses to issue forth more water
James: so we go off in our own directions to try and find some other hot water source
James: On my way to student services on floor 6 of S-block i come across an open door with a kitchenette complete with hot water jug inside
James: so i yippee, go inside and boil the jug
James: i’m pretty sure i wasn’t meant to be there because it was adjacent to some obscure engineering faculty but i was hungry so fuck them
James: then i contemplate whether that girl is still looking for hot water so since the jug will take a little while to boil i go down two floors and poke my head out onto the catwalk to see if she’s in sight
James: she’s not around so i go back up and THE DOOR IS CLOSED AND LOCKED
James: AND MY NOODLES ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE
James: What kind of fuckstick goes “HEY THERES A JUG BOILING HERE WITH AN OPEN CUP OF NOODLES NEXT TO IT. O WELL LOL BETTER LOCK THE DOOR.”
James: and you’re not fucking there are you
—–
James: So i just realised in hon i have like 120 apm right
James: But like….EIGHTY of it must be shit talk
—–
James: the ticker for oil search
—–
James: So thats my life
James: surprisingly little there
James: but i’m enjoying it!
James: like a bag of chips
James: how very philosophical
—–
James: shoot their nads off
James: there should be an achievement for that
James: “Surprise vasectomy”
—–
James: yeah, if theres one thing that school taught me, its that the fastest way to learn is to do it yourself
James: Which is, in retrospect, sort of tragic
—–
James: and i’m like the opposite of bullshit
James: I am the vinegar to bullshits baking soda
James: and when we collide, shit explodes
James: but then when the dust settles theres no more baking soda
James: I mean, bullshit
—–
James: I want………COOKIES
James: BRB COOKIES
James: BACKWITHCOOKIESOMG
James: Soon i might even eat them
James: If i feel like a challenge
—–
James: I would rather be a lesbian than a fag btw.
James: Just throwing it out there.
—–
James – Swankitude says (1:23 PM):
James: BACK
James: OOPS CAPS
James: OOPS STILL CAPS
James: the fuck
James: thats better
—–
James: mmhm
what can i say, i’m into stabbing
OR SHOULD I SAY
STABBING
- puts on sunnies*
IS INTO ME
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Stories about me being the fucking bear grylls of being a nerd
James: So when i did the 48-hour game making challenge, I neglected to bring a towel, or a spare shirt
James: But how did you get clean, you ask?
James: All I brought was my rig, phone, and wallet. None of these can be used to get clean.
James: BUT THEN
James: They were selling promotional 48-hour game making challenge t-shirts
James: So i bought one, showered, changed into it, and used my old shirt as a towel
James: Get on my level
—–
James: There were no maggi noodles left
James: there was just one packet of plain noodles /w no flavor packet in the cupboard, that had been there for like a year because who wants plain noodles.
James: but then in a flash of inspiration i realise if i combine plain noodles, with chicken stock?
James: Chicken noodles.
James: I am a wizard.
(editors note: those noodles actually ended up giving me food poisoning)
Matthew talking to himself chat logs
Matthew: i
Matthew: yeah nope
Matthew: words fial me
—–
Matthew: using one of the servers at work with 24 gig of ram and 16 logical processor cores
Matthew: YES THAT DIFF PROGRAM IS USING 6 GIG OF RAM
Matthew: NO IT DOESN’T MATTER
Matthew: okay so apparently kdiff3 can’t use more than 6.7 gb of ram
Nathan talking to himself chat logs
Nathan: Me and my sister hate eachother
Nathan: I know hate is a strong word
Nathan: but thats why I use it
Most Common Matthew/James Exchange
This is officially the most commonly found exchange in any given Matthew/James IM conversation
Matthew: …
James: =D
Matthew/James Chat Logs
Matthew: i have a fish tank
Matthew: IRONICALLYY
—–
Matthew: ROFL
James: yes
Matthew: okay
James: roflmo
Matthew: damn you dwarf fortress
James: you have contracted dwarfism
Matthew: better than a white conical hat amirite
James: RIFKLSDG
Matthew: you did nazi that coming
James: nein
—–
Matthew: I’LL ACCESS YOUR PRIVATE MEMBER IN A SECOND
Matthew: hold the phone while i read the backlog
James: kay
Matthew: o.O
James: THE TRICKLE OF SHAME
Matthew: i
James: also that reminds me i need to add both of these to chat logs
James: I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF CODING
Matthew: o.O
James: sorry i just get a bit carried away when something works immediately after you’ve made sweeping changes to your code
Matthew: “a bit”
James: well i am pretty cool already
Matthew: right
—–
shadylives: if its planetside
Matthew: gonna try some F2P gta-esque MMO at some point
shadylives: with a quick review
Matthew: it’s not planetside
shadylives: oh ok
Matthew: i’ve heard it before
shadylives: oh lol
Matthew: but i’ll hear it again
shadylives: HRRBLUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGH
Matthew: excellent
—–
Matthew: i helped you with python though 😀
James: you did
Matthew: yep
James: haha
Matthew: 😀
James: and makes a new function
Matthew: OH YEAH
James: and i’m like matthew is this guy retarded
Matthew: indeed 😀
Matthew: i see
James: i am apprehensive
Matthew: making money is shiny
James: ROFLMAO
Matthew: seriously though apparently there’s money to be made in it
James: that was so terrible
Matthew: yep
James: there are other ways to make money from falling markets
Matthew: i c 😀
James: thats something i should sign up for now
Matthew: rofl
James: i’m just going to assume
Matthew: rofl
Matthew: OKAY IT’S ON
James: awesome
Matthew: LOL
James: little gay
Matthew: just a bit yeah
James: yo i’m eatin’ fun dip right now
James: THE GOGGLES THEY DO NOTHING
—–
Matthew: turns out it’s worth 30% of the semester’s marks, and i’m already on a 7 from the 70% worth of assignments
James: ROFLMAO
Matthew: i was like wtf
James: lol
Matthew: rofl
James: i will often just cross-map fire a rocket at a corpse mid battle
Matthew: LOL!
James: 😀
Matthew: in instagib
James: heh
Matthew: and the original target doesn’t get killed and so kills me
James: a few times i’ve been playing instagib and i accidentally fired when i did the “click to respawn” thing
Matthew: rofl
—–
Matthew: oO
James: “How will it close? how will my mouth fit around it? Won’t all the liquid from the mince make the tortilla all soggy so it simply disintegrates when you try to grip it?”
Matthew: rofl
James: it was the single most preposterously overloaded burrito i have ever eaten
—–
Matthew: nice
James: i don’t think my body would actually survive doing that twice in one year
Matthew: that’s possibly why it’s annual 😀
James: grats!
Matthew: yes ^_^
James: ROFL
Matthew: instructor was like “well, you’ve descended this far, you can land”
James: THE GROUND
Matthew: and i’m like k
James: hahaha
—–
James: hahahaha
—–
Matthew: windows in general gives them a bad name
James: amen to that
Matthew: the internet runs on networks
James: the world runs on databases too doesn’t mean they’re any fun 😀
Matthew: touche 🙂
James: “Networking in windows vista is like having your wisdom teeth extracted through your anus” – Me, on windows vista
Matthew: rofl
James: i swear they’re taking the piss
Matthew: so he’s probably offending some relative by using “foo” in his lectures
James: ROFLMAO
—–
James: evening
James: FUCK YEAH
Matthew: SUP BRO
James: i said evening
Matthew: i have a new wallpaper for you
James: and then music happened
Matthew: NICE
James: and now i’m removing my pants
Matthew: WHEN YOU SAY GOOD EVENING
James: now i’m not wearing pants
Matthew: TIME TO SEND THIS WALLPAPER THEN
James: now i’m wearing different pants!
Matthew: WELL THAT’S KIND OF DISAPPOINTING
James: thats pretty suave
Matthew: I KNOW RIGHT
James: yeah 😀
Matthew: in other news
James: you’re teaching people python?
Matthew: yep
James: moneys?
Matthew: yes ^__^
James: you has done good
Matthew: listening to phonat, zombie army
James: now theres three more people in the world who’ll get those xkcd comics about python
Matthew: yeah, this has been a good wednesday
James: or two
Matthew: close enough
James: yes 😀
James: omg stoodley
Matthew: and a razer shirt
James: yeah because thats what i’m looking at
Matthew: 😀
—–
Matthew: what was the first half
James: see that knob between your fingers
Matthew: ikr
—–
James: So last night i had a dream where i chopped off my own dick.
Matthew: ……….
Matthew: ………………
James: It was pretty weird
Matthew: My thoughts exactly
——
James: me too
Matthew: gotta wake up at some poinjt romorrow
James: rofl
Matthew: point tomorrow*
James: i’ve got a lot of work to do before friday
Matthew: and then hit ener
James: you should go to slee
Matthew: enter
James: LOL
Matthew: LOL
James: oh dear
Matthew: that was gold
James: i think its bedtime
—–
James: cup holders
Matthew: for that boost when you just don’t have enough WHAT
James: i like yours better actually
Matthew: enough volume
James: somebody who doesn’t have cup holders on their clothes, maybe?
Matthew: …
James: =D
—–
James: inded
James: indeed*
James: friggin laptop keyboars
James: so anyway
James: i want a “das keyboard ultimate”
Matthew: rifl
Matthew: rofl*
Matthew: LOL
James: destinys keyboard ^_^
James: LOL
Matthew: and yeah i want tone otot
Matthew: WANT ONE TOO
James: LOL
Matthew: CONTAGIIUS TYPOT DEISASE
Matthew: CRAP
Matthew: CONTAGIOUS TYPO DISEASE
James: indeed
Matthew: mac keyboards are so gay
James: trying so hard ot to typo right FUCK
Matthew: they take any chance you give them
Matthew: LOL
—–
James: that burp was off the fucking chain
—–
Matthew: I’m pulling out
Matthew: thats what she said
Matthew: wait
James: LOL
James: YOU GOT DUNNED BY A MAN LADY
—–
—
—–
Shadyjames: damn you fallout
Yay Purple! \=D/: which is TOTALLY what the radio new vegas dj just said
Shadyjames shakes his fist at the sky
Yay Purple! \=D/: first thing i heard from the radio new vegas dj when i tuned in was “i love you. i love you so much”
Yay Purple! \=D/: guy talking to his listeners
Yay Purple! \=D/: felt good 😀
Shadyjames: hehe
Yay Purple! \=D/: sooner i get to vegas itself and get some casino action the better
Yay Purple! \=D/: help me forget that i just saw you were playing CS:S
Shadyjames: aha
Shadyjames: yes
Shadyjames: the most boring game of all
Shadyjames: is the solution to my relaxed gaming quest
Yay Purple! \=D/: 🙁
Shadyjames: also i found pirate metal
Shadyjames: for true
Yay Purple! \=D/: …….
Yay Purple! \=D/: what?
Shadyjames: theres a band called alestorm
Shadyjames: pirate.
Shadyjames: metal.
Yay Purple! \=D/: :/
Shadyjames: 😀
Yay Purple! \=D/: like
Yay Purple! \=D/: screamo YARRRRRR
Yay Purple! \=D/: although screamo isn’t metal
Shadyjames is now playing Counter-Strike: Source. Click here to join.
Shadyjames: rofl i get in here
Shadyjames: first thing i see is
Shadyjames: *DEAD* Jagua|Paw : thats kool., didnt want my head anyway
Yay Purple! \=D/: rofl
Yay Purple! \=D/: sounds like an easy server 😀
Yay Purple! \=D/: “NOTICE: Hitchhikers may be escaped prisoners”
Yay Purple! \=D/: ^ i love america
Shadyjames: actually fuck it
Shadyjames: i forgot how bad that game was
Yay Purple! \=D/: yay you came to your senses
Shadyjames: if i want to do nothing for 90 second intervals between dying i’ll contract narcolepsy thank you very fucking
much
Yay Purple! \=D/: rofl
Yay Purple! \=D/: on the subject of dying, i’m walking into a prison
Yay Purple! \=D/: ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY WALK INTO PRISON
Shadyjames: THEY MUST RAVE THEIR WAY IN
Yay Purple! \=D/: 😀
Yay Purple! \=D/: that’d be the most awesome prison
Yay Purple! \=D/: all the cool kids would be there
Yay Purple! \=D/: hip-hop artists and such
Shadyjames: and you could rave your way out, if you know what i mean
Shadyjames: zzzzzzap
—–
James:
- which UT
Matt:
- 2994
James:
- nice
Matt:
- 2004 even
James:
- chat logging that
Matt:
- 2994 is called duke nukem forever
—–
James: “If nobody wants to come i’ll just go see it alone but if i get stabbed by an aboriginal it’ll be ALL YOUR FAULT! then NOBODY gets comics! Speaking of which i plan to start churning out comics again in all their rainbow-farting glory so keep your eyes peeled and perhaps i’ll reward you by not scarring them permanently.”
Matthew: LOL
- nice
James: ^_^
Matthew: you know what i love
- wikiforall.net
- latest two news posts
- “When fate conspires against you.”
James: rofl tru dat
Matthew: then
- “I got stabbed”
- also “an odd turn” before it
James: hahaha
- also, now signing off this email with “Heterosexually”
- as in “sincerely”
Matthew: LOL
James: tell me thats not amazing
Matthew: Thats amazing
—–
James: what do you mean WHICH SERVER
James: i’m an end user, dammit
James: END USERRRRRRRRR
—–
=FA= Shadyjames: wtf
=FA= Shadyjames: no you don’t
=FA= Shadyjames: you’re not different to me
=FA= Shadyjames: you’re just wrong
—–
Asshole-face-man!: whats the thing that looks like a GPS
Yay Purple! \=D/: a gps
Asshole-face-man!: oh
Asshole-face-man!: touché
—–
James: all right, i’m gonna go have breakfast, take a dump, and switch computers
James: and when i’m done
James: when i’m BACK
James: ITS SERIOUSFACE STOCKMARKET TIME
Matthew: i’ll be gone
James: AND YOU’LL BE GONE
James: BUT YOU AREN’T NECESSARY
Matthew: also stock market doesn’t open until 9 our time
James: ONLY BREAKFAST IS NECESSARY
—–
Yay Purple! \=D/: kthxhai
=FA= Shadyjames: rofl
=FA= Shadyjames: snorted irl
Yay Purple! \=D/: :/
=FA= Shadyjames: lol’d irl at “snorted irl”
Yay Purple! \=D/: puked irl
Yay Purple! \=D/: at snorted irl
Yay Purple! \=D/: :/
Yay Purple! \=D/: (kidding)
=FA= Shadyjames: eyebrow’d irl @ puked irl
=FA= Shadyjames: then …’d irl at misspelling “irl” as “eyerl”
—–
James: O RLY
James: WHOSE?
Matthew: YOURS
James: it wasn’t that big
Matthew: it hurt still
James: drink some concrete and harden up, bitchtits
—–
=FA= Shadyjames: then they have a piss-up of epic proportions!
Yay Purple! \=D/: FOR GREAT JUSTICE
—–
Matthew: oi so what say at 11:30 we hit up l4d versus mode?
James: dude, i’m going to bed almost now
James: weekend
Matthew: the best time of night is 11:30 D:
Matthew: i totally get my best work done at 12:30 AM
James: yes, this is true
James: i plan to stay up that late TOMORROW
James: however for now i need to be somewhat alert yesterday
Matthew: yesterday?
James: ouch
Matthew: i think i see your point
—–
James: wtf
James: that was so bad i don’t even know if it was a joke
—–
Yay Purple! \=D/: rofl
Yay Purple! \=D/: balls
=FA= Shadyjames: LOL
=FA= Shadyjames: balls <3
—–
Shadyjames WINS: you should do an item on your to-do list >=|
Yay Purple! \=D/: you should talk like a pirate
Yay Purple! \=D/: it’s international speak like a pirate daty
Shadyjames WINS: OMG IT IS
Shadyjames WINS: That be so, good lad!
Yay Purple! \=D/: … i’ve created a monster
Shadyjames WINS: Now move yer lazy keister afore i stick my cutlass up it, and fashion me an automatically updating
comic-title line on yonder blog
Yay Purple! \=D/: -___-
Shadyjames WINS: wench
—–
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:10 PM):
- I BE CODING
- i decided not to use the force tonight but rather use the source
- that means no KOTOR and lots of Pedigree
James – Wheeee says (9:11 PM):
- firstly, that was awful
- secondly i have a crap assignment due at 11
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:11 PM):
- >=D
- OWNED
- ok i’ll be quiet till then
James – Wheeee says (9:11 PM):
- thirdly, i am going to DESTROY some people in tf2 when its over
- fourthly its the last crap assignment i’ve got, everything else is exams and game design <3
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:11 PM):
- <3
James – Wheeee says (9:12 PM):
- and last of all i haven’t done tomorrows comic so its going to be a late night for me <3
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:12 PM):
- LOL
- NICE
James – Wheeee says (9:12 PM):
- would you believe my entire buffer disappeared already?
- FIVE WEEKS OF COMICS
- WHERE DID FIVE WEEKS GO?
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:12 PM):
- I KNOW RIGHT
- I’M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE SAME THING
James – Wheeee says (9:12 PM):
- DID YOU GET FIVE WEEKS? BECAUSE I SURE AS HELL DIDN’T
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:12 PM):
- DEFINITELY NOT
- NEXT THING I KNEW IT WAS ASSIGNMENT DUE TIME
James – Wheeee says (9:13 PM):
- AND I MADE TWO MORE COMICS DURING THAT TIME, AND THERES NO WAY I GOT SEVEN WEEKS, NO WAY IN HELL
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:13 PM):
- I WAS LIKE OMG WHERE’D MY ASSIGNMENTING TIME GO
- WHY ALLCAPS OOI
James – Wheeee says (9:13 PM):
- ALSO I THINK THEY FORGOT AUGUST THIS YEAR
- JUST A SUSPICION
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:13 PM):
- I KNOW RIGHT
- WTF HAPPENED TO AUGUST
James – Wheeee says (9:13 PM):
- IT HAD A HOLIDAY
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:13 PM):
- ACTUALLY THAT’S A GOOD QUESTION
- WHERE *DID* AUGUST GO
- I SURE DON’T REMEMBER IT
James – Wheeee says (9:14 PM):
- I DEFINITELY DONT
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:15 PM):
- \:/
James – Wheeee says (9:15 PM):
- I REMEMBER DAVE POSTED THE CASTING HISTORY, AND I DID ONE IN JULY, ONE IN SEPTEMBER, ONE IN OCTOBER, AND none in august!!!!
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:15 PM):
- THE CASE OF THE MISSING AUGUST
- WHERE THE HELL IS SHERLOCK WHEN YOU NEED HIM
James – Wheeee says (9:15 PM):
- I WANTED TO ALLCAPS THAT, BUT I WAS ALREADY ALLCAPS
- SO I OVERFLOW’D AND BECAME NEGATIVE
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:15 PM):
- LOL THATS THE PROBLEM WITH ALLCAPS
- I JUST USE *STARS* TO PROVIDE EMPHASIS
James – Wheeee says (9:16 PM):
- THAT IS ONE STRATEGY
- IT WORKS FAIRLY WELL BUT STILL NOWHERE NEAR AS SATISFYING AS RE-CAPSING SOMETHING
James – Wheeee says (9:17 PM):
- HOLD UP
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:17 PM):
- I STILL THINK 72 PT IS THE BEST WAY TO GO
James – Wheeee says (9:17 PM):
- FUCK YEAH
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:17 PM):
- BUT SILLY MSN DOESN’T SUPPORT IT
- LOL NICE
- BUT YOU CAN’T ADD BOLD HALFWAY THROUGH A MESSAGE
- ALSO SHOULDN’T YOU BE ASSIGNMENTING RATHER THEN ALLCAPSING?
James – Wheeee says (9:17 PM):
- D=
James – Wheeee says (9:18 PM):
- BUT ALLCAPS ARE SO FUN D=
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:18 PM):
- I HEART ALLCAPS
James – Wheeee says (9:18 PM):
- I LESS THAN THREE THEM
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:18 PM):
- I LESS THAN ATE THEM
- SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
James – Wheeee says (9:18 PM):
- LOL WUT
- NO
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:18 PM):
- ALSO 2^3 = EIGHT, SO IT WORKS ON MANY LEVELS
James – Wheeee says (9:18 PM):
- ARE YOU HIGH
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:19 PM):
- I’VE HAD TWO CUPS OF DECAF COFFEE
- I THINK IT’S WORKING
=D
James – Wheeee says (9:19 PM):
- I THINK YOU’VE BEEN SNIFFING ALLCAPS FUMES
- IF THIS WERE IRL I’D CHECK YOUR PUPILS
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:19 PM):
- IF THIS WERE IRL I’D HAVE LEFT BY NOW
- ZING
James – Wheeee says (9:19 PM):
- LOL ITS FUNNY BECAUSE YOU’RE ANTISOCIAL
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:19 PM):
- LOL TRUE
James – Wheeee says (9:20 PM):
- AND THAT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE IT WAS UNCALLED FOR
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:20 PM):
- LOL I KNOW RIGHT
James – Wheeee says (9:20 PM):
- AND THAT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE IT WAS OBVIOUS
- AND THAT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE IT WAS REDUNDANT
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:20 PM):
- ROFL
- I LOL IRL
James – Wheeee says (9:20 PM):
- AND THAT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE IT WAS REDUNDANT
- AND THAT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE IT RECURSED
- AND THAT WAS FUNNY BECAUSE IT WAS A NERD JOKE
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:20 PM):
- I THINK I JUST HAD A STACK OVERFLOW IN MY BRAIN
James – Wheeee says (9:20 PM):
- LOL NICE
James – Wheeee says (9:21 PM):
- I WANT TO CHAT LOG THIS BUT I DON’T KNOW IF ITS ENDED
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:21 PM):
- I KNOW RIGHT
James – Wheeee says (9:21 PM):
- MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET ANOTHER COFFEE, IT WORKED ON THE LAST ALLCAPS CHAT LOG
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:21 PM):
- I THINK YOU JUST BROKED IT
- LOL ITS DECAF COFFEE
James – Wheeee says (9:21 PM):
- LOL FAIL
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:21 PM):
- I DUNNO WHAT’D HAPPEN IF I HAD CAF COFFEE
James – Wheeee says (9:21 PM):
- YOU’RE RETARDED
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:21 PM):
- I MIGHT ACTUALLY GET STUFF DONE ON MY TODO LIST
- LOL NOT RETARDED I LIKE SLEEPING AT NIGHT KGO
James – Wheeee says (9:21 PM):
- PLACEBO DECAF: FUCK YEAH
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:22 PM):
- LOL
James – Wheeee says (9:23 PM):
- FUCK YOUR DECAF MATTHEW, IF YOU SAID BRB THIRD COFFEE TIME IT WOULD BE THE PERFECT ENDING
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:23 PM):
- LOL THERE’S NO MORE COFFEE IN THE POT
- I CBF BREWING MORE
James – Wheeee says (9:24 PM):
- LOL I JUST ALLCAPS’D UP MY ASSIGNMENT
- AND NOW I’M GOING TO HOLD SHIFT INSTEAD OF TURNING OFF CAPS LOCK
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:24 PM):
- I ALWAYS HOLD SHIFT
- CAPS LOCK NEVAR GOES ON
James – Wheeee says (9:24 PM):
- SUX 2 B YOUR PINKY
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:24 PM):
- TOO MUCH EFFORT TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK WHEN I GO BACK TO USING THE SOURCE
James – Wheeee says (9:25 PM):
- ACTUALLY SUX 2 B A PINKY IN THE FIRST PLACE RITE?
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:25 PM):
- I KNOW RIGHT
James – Wheeee says (9:25 PM):
- SEE, IF CODE WASN’T CASE SENSITIVE YOU COULD ALTERNATE BETWEEN ALLCAPS AND CODE ALL YOU LIKE
- SCREW CAMELCASE, L2UNDERSCORE
- KIDDING, DON’T RAPE ME
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:26 PM):
- LOL CAMELCASE MADE EGYPT KGO
- MADE EGYPT AWESOME I SHOULD SAY
- COBOL USED TO BE ALLCAPS, GO LEARN IT
James – Wheeee says (9:26 PM):
- I DON’T KNOW WHETHER ITS MORE RETARDED THAT YOU SAID IT OR MORE RETARDED THAT YOU TRIED TO COVER IT UP
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:26 PM):
- LOL >=D
James – Wheeee says (9:27 PM):
- SO ANYWAY I HERD U LIKE ALLCAPZ
Matt – Assignments, meh says (9:27 PM):
- INTERESTING
- WHERE’D YOU HEAR THAT FROM
James – Wheeee says (10:21 PM):
- oops
—–
James: BAND-AIDS
James: FUCK YEAH
James: i just got a bit carried away there
James: BOOKS!
James: NEWRAAAAWRRRRRRR *guitar smashing*
James: ok i’m done
Matthew: …
Matthew: EIGHT GIG OF RAM
—–
James – Undaunted says (1:49 PM): i have V
Matt says (1:49 PM): <3
James – Undaunted says (1:49 PM): now, if all goes well, soon i will be able to think
Matt says (1:49 PM): k
JAMES – HOLY SHIT CAFFIENE says (2:26 PM): it worked
JAMES – HOLY SHIT CAFFIENE says (2:28 PM): also we have unicorns on the wiki for some reason
—–
James: Also, I blogg’d
Matthew: I read that and missed the “l”
—–
(6:49:35 PM) Matt: BAH
(6:49:39 PM) Matt: rickroll’d -_-
(6:52:08 PM) Matt: … why am i still listening to it
(7:19:54 PM) James – Whee!: LOL
(7:20:08 PM) Matt: D=
(7:20:26 PM) James – Whee!: i’m chat logging that
(7:23:25 PM) James – Whee!: LOL I JUST GOT RICKROLLED
(7:23:33 PM) Matt: LOL FAIL
—–
James: LOL WUT chrome just gave me a drop down menu of things i’d recently typed into search boxes
James: ITS NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE
Matthew: =O
James: does it do that for YOU?
Matthew: it does that
James: i c
Matthew: it looks like it finally decided to show itself to you
Matthew: it must like you
Matthew: i think we just found you a girlfriend!
Matthew: >=D
James: lol!
James: on the upside, we have all the same interests!
Matthew: LOL
Matthew: well played
—–
Matt (8:40 PM): o.o
Matt (8:40 PM): it’s like, 8:40
James (8:41 PM): yes
Matt (8:41 PM): when did this happen?
James (8:42 PM): about two minutes ago
—–
Matthew: so how’d the game go after i left?
James: i forget, but i win a lot
James: so i probably won
James: and they probably lost
Matthew: rofl
—–
James: i hope i don’t run out of names for characters or else i’ll have to start killing my friends
James: hey thats a good idea!
James: “Aaron”
—–
James: HIFIVE!
Matthew: …
James: Hi-five me, bitch
—–
James: “I had no choice but to get down down down down DANCE!”
James: jamiroquai
Matthew: …
James: “i was born to rock and built to last you’ll never see my feet cuz i move so fast”
Matthew: :/
Matthew: “i’m the scatman”
Matthew: fight music with music >=D
James: “We are going to a different place, and we’re taking everything we can”
James: lyricfight
James: DO IT
James: that one was different, by pendulum
Matthew: “bo ba be, bo bippity ba”
Matthew: =D
James: thats cheating
James: >=|
Matthew: they’re technically lyrics <3
James: scat doesn’t count
James: otherwise i’ll CRAZY FROG YOUR ASS
Matthew: k :9
Matthew: uh oh
James: AND NEITHER OF US WILL ENJOY IT
Matthew: DONT DO IT
James: DONT MAKE ME
Matthew: OK I WONT
James: K FINE
James: /allcaps
Matthew: we should probably avoid using caps
James: yes
Matthew: shouting ftl
James: i’m chat logging that btw
Matthew: brb, third coffee time
—–
James: hahaha i love you
Matthew: …
James: in a completely heterosexual and semi-sarcastic way
Matthew: excellent
—–
Matthew: I need a physics engine.
Matthew: Given the fact that physics fails, I aint writing it myself…
Matthew: *Walks through walls*
James: LOL
James: That’s one of the best ones I’ve heard in a while
—–
Matthew: you know what would be awesome?
James: cookies?
James: brb cookies
Matthew: a dance-off between peter garrett and steve ballmer
—–
Matthew: i love ventolin
James: yeah coz thats totally related
Matthew: <3
James: to what we were talking about
James: o.O
Matthew: well, orange gets away with it when he mentions turtles =(
James: true
James: turtles are cooler than ventolin though
Matthew: ventolin can make you high
James: so can turtles
Matthew: turtles, not even standing on them makes y ou high
James: didn’t you ever read yurtle the turtle?
Matthew: not afaik
James: It’ll be very educational for you.
—–
Matthew: bash rocks
James: no
James: YOU bash rocks
Matthew: Touché
—–
James: rofl i just ate an ant without thinking
Matthew: :/
James: i’m used to having cookie crumbs on my face, how was i meant to know it would be an insect instead
Matthew: i c
/Matthew backs away slowly
—–
Matthew:
http://www.linux-games.com/penguin-command/
Matthew:
tis even on windows
James:
no!
NO!
Matthew:
=O there’s SOUND
James:
i have work to do xD
Matthew:
>=D
James:
damn you and your ability to get me addicted to games xD
Matthew:
i almost have more fun doing this to you than playing it myself
Matthew:
in other news, chromium bsu, awesome top-down game
James: noooo, stop xD
James:
i can’t heaaaaar yooooooooou
James: *plays the tempest at full*
Matthew:
you know those japanese arcade games where you’re totally in the ship flying around shooting at the stuff that comes down the screen
Matthew:
tis one of them
James: oh i love those
James: wait
James: dammit
…some time later
Matthew: FROGGER
Matthew: *installs*
James: GAH
Matthew: man, this is so much fun <3
James: You’re awful
—–
James: ROFL i have somebody on my msn list, “Nancy” above somebody called “Pugrambo”
James: so
James: my brain kind of merged the two into “pregnancy”
James: and i’m like LOLWUT
Matthew: …
James: =D
Matthew: O
Matthew: K
Matthew: i feel a chat logs addition coming on at some point tonight
James: ditto
James: but until then LETS BURN THINGS
—–
James: How do you get up the defrag window with all the squares?
Matthew: They took it out of XP
James: BASTARDS!!
James: I loved that screen!
Matthew: Me too! It made defragmenting fun!
James: I could watch those squares go by all day.
James: It was almost hypnotic…
Matthew: Endless entertainment
James: Why would they remove it?
Matthew: Maybe all the microsoft employees were just defragmenting all day and not doing any work
Matthew: “Sir, all the engineers are defragmenting their hard drives”
Matthew: “Shouldn’t that INCREASE productivity?”
James: Rofl
Matthew: “Normally yes, but they’re just doing it non-stop to watch the pretty squares go past!”
Matthew: “Hm, thats it, we’ll have to remove the squares”
James: “Maybe we could introduce some motivational posters instead? ‘Why defrag when you can….DEBUG?'”
James: “No, that won’t do, the squares have got to go”
—–
Matt:
OH YES
heh
James:
what?
Matt:
if you even THINK about saying “that’s what she said” i’ll slap you
James:
pff not creative enough for me
Matt:
good
James:
LOL thats what she said!
(Just a note of explanation for those who aren’t entirely sure what’s going on here: the “LOL…” is in reference to “not creative enough for me” not “good” :P).
—–
James says:
whoaaaa
Matt says:
morning
Then, simultaneously:
James says:
i really need a wake-up dose of zombie shooting
Matt says:
i feel like a zombie
—–
James: woot
James: i created an empty command line program and ran it
Matthew: awesome
Matthew: platform sdk is installed
James: i should’ve made it cout balls but i honestly forget which way the >> and <<‘s go
Matthew: <<
Matthew: and #include
Matthew: and using namespace std;
James: i forgot about all that
James: i haven’t been to c c c to c what i can c c c for a long long time
Matthew:…
James: =D
—–
Matthew: Yeah i’m getting really slow download speeds on steam too
James: Mybad
—–
- (After james saying “brb snack” once every half an hour for about a day…)
James: i’m SO snacky today, i even had a sausage roll to fill my stomach so i don’t want more snacks
James: and i STILL WANT SNACKS
James: maybe if i waterlog myself…
James: brb drinking way too much
Matthew: lol!
Matthew: i just had a “BIG 100g CUP” of noodles
Matthew: it was pretty big
(minutes later…)
James: dammit, all that did was make me want beernuts!
James: brb giving into the beer nuts
- Then, later that day…
James: CRAP
James: its FEBRUARY
James: that makes tomorrow the first!
James: that makes tonight COMIC NIGHT
James: that makes me SCREWED
James: which subsequently makes me hungry
James: brb snack
—–
- Whilst playing a game of complete annihilation, in order to make the game end Matthew and James had to find and destroy all units of the opposing team
James: It must be underwater somewhere
Matthew: Ok, time for radar planes
James: Ok i’ll get right on that
James: ….when i was playing with my super weapon, did i destroy my aircraft plant? I think i did…
Matthew: rofl
James: …as well as my entire power supply….
Matthew: ROFL
James: Maybe you should build the radar planes this time
Matthew: i think thats a good idea
- ten minutes, and five kills later…
Matthew: I can’t find anything!
James: The last remaining player is grey, look for grey smudges on the minimap.
- five minutes later…
Matthew: Still nothing, i vote we just call it a day.
James: Ok wait, i’ll level with you. I know where his unit is. The thing is, i wasn’t going to tell you so while you were looking for it i could capture your super weapon and nuke your base.
Matthew: …
James: Only problem is that i’d already nuked my *own* base with my *own* super weapon, so i didn’t have any energy to capture it with.
Matthew: …lol
—–
Matthew: four things
1) http://git-scm.com – how awesome is the picture at the top
James: k
Matthew: 2) penguin command, a linux version of the popular arcade game “missile command” rocks my socks
James: k
Matthew: 3) 20k light years in space or whatever it’s called is addictive
James: yes
Matthew: 4) singularity is addictive
James: k
ok now that i’ve given you my monotonal responses
let me expand
Matthew: 😛
James – Whee! says (12:25 PM):
1. LOL
2. LOL
3. owned
4. k
Matthew: rofl
James: >=D
—–
Matthew: hmm, it
s
al
most
tomorrow
^ fail.
James: LOL
OWNED
by your self
James/Chloe
Chloes bag: *Devours her plastic shopping bag in a zippery death grip*
Chloe: My bag is stealing my bag!
James: its like, “Raagh, i’m the only bag around here!
Chloe: bag envy
—–
James: YOU ARE NOT THROWING MONEY AT ME WHEN WE NEXT SEE EACHOTHER
Chloe: I could make a joke here…
James: Could yo unow
James: i suppose you should, or i will never know what it was
Chloe: Considering you were swinging off the poles before we left youth group yes, a joke could definitely be made.
James: oh right yeah
James: pff i was not even a little promiscuous
Chloe: maybe that just means you need more money thrown at you
—–
(2:03:55 AM) shodyjomes: i’m like
(2:03:57 AM) shodyjomes: going through my bookmarks
(2:04:05 AM) shodyjomes: to see if i have anything else good that is not a gif or starcraft related
(2:04:08 AM) Chloe: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n6Qu7fNqdY
(2:05:26 AM) shodyjomes: ROFL ACQUITTED
(2:05:31 AM) Chloe: XD
(2:05:38 AM) Chloe: I swear, this is my family.
(2:05:49 AM) shodyjomes: lol
(2:06:07 AM) shodyjomes: your house seems RELATIVELY safe
(2:06:09 AM) shodyjomes: from what i’ve seen
(2:06:14 AM) shodyjomes: no iron maidens or anything
(2:06:22 AM) Chloe: Not that you’ve seen
(2:06:30 AM) shodyjomes: is there a basement
(2:06:34 AM) shodyjomes: oh god there’s a basement isn’t there
(2:06:41 AM) shodyjomes: hey can we do saturday at my place instead
(2:06:43 AM) Chloe: No, but you haven’t seen the garage yet, have you
James/Helen
(10:37:21 PM) [Awesome group]: (gunnerria) also I am gonna text Chloe one sec
(10:37:28 PM) shodyjomes: yay!
(10:38:01 PM) [Awesome group]: (gunnerria) k let’s see if she’s awake
(10:38:08 PM) [Awesome group]: (gunnerria) who am i kidding of course she is
(10:38:10 PM) [Awesome group]: (gunnerria) XD
(10:38:57 PM) shodyjomes: haha when does chloe ever sleep
(10:39:04 PM) shodyjomes: except for any time she needs to be awake
James/Steve
[8:43:28 PM] Steve – TT: flipping a coin
[8:43:45 PM] Steve – TT: pointy side up
—–
Steve: There is only so much lube can do if you’re using 20-grit sandpaper on your cock
—–
Steve: If i ever meet her in real life, I’ll tell her she’s not pretty
Steve: Women HATE that
—–
James: i get that too
—–
[3:00:54 PM] Steve – TT: The bitch worships my nuts
[3:00:57 PM] Steve – TT: I guess that makes her
[3:01:02 PM] Steve – TT: sacreligious
[3:01:06 PM] James de Vries: ROFLMAO
—–
[9:10:27 PM] Steve – TT: ajam,es
[9:10:31 PM] Steve – TT: hacnge of plan
[9:10:36 PM] Steve – TT: im gonna fiuckj thwe other onwe
[9:10:46 PM] Steve – TT: shed is not as hot
[9:10:52 PM] Steve – TT: bu7t sdoesnt have a hosenbund
[9:11:19 PM] Steve – TT: brb mmore fdrindking
[9:13:25 PM] Steve – TT: im ghonna clpose skur
[9:13:27 PM] Steve – TT: jik
[9:38:11 PM] James de Vries: i have no fucking idea what you are saying
—–
—–
[5:28:01 PM] Steve – TT: James
[5:28:09 PM] James de Vries: GOOD EVENING STEVENING
[5:28:26 PM] Steve – TT: The demon code prevents you, from declining a hontime session
[5:28:28 PM] Steve – TT: tell me what
[5:28:31 PM] Steve – TT: are you r terms
[5:28:38 PM] Steve – TT: whats the cahhhhche?
[5:28:42 PM] James de Vries: IF WE HON
[5:28:49 PM] James de Vries: YOU MUST TAKE YOUR SORRY ASS AND PLAY SUPPORT
[5:28:54 PM] James de Vries: AND ALSO YOU WILL HAVE TO HELP ME GAAHAAANK
(this chat log is in reference to this song)
—–
—–
Steve: JAMES ALL CODING LANGUAGES ARE BEING DELETED
James: lol wut
Steve: YOU HAVE THE OPERTUNITY TO SAVE 3
Steve: Quick
James: uhhh
James: python, C++
James: uhhhhhhh
Steve: TIME IS ALMOST UP
James: FUCK
James: LISP
Steve: 5
Steve: 4
James: I DONT KNOW WHY I DID THAT
James: I DONT EVEN KNOW LISP
James: BUT I THOUGHT IT COULD BE FUN TO LEARN SOME DAY
James/Dylan chat logs
but yeah flash is like, an animation format that just happens to be capable of producing games through sheer enormity of bullshit
[10:21:18 PM] Dirren Bloo: lol
[10:21:32 PM] Dirren Bloo: AS3 is so much like java’s closely related retarded uncle
[10:21:37 PM] Dirren Bloo: they tried man, they rly did
[10:22:13 PM] James de Vries: well its all well and good that you have actionscript experience because all the basic constructs are the same
[10:22:22 PM] James de Vries: but i swear to fuck dylan if you start using AS again
[10:22:28 PM] Dirren Bloo: function(mouseDown){
if (cursor.hitTest(_root.button)){
gotoAndStop(2)
}
}
[10:22:33 PM] James de Vries: i will throw my keyboard into the next dimension
[10:22:40 PM] Dirren Bloo: bahahaha
[10:22:42 PM] James de Vries: and it will emerge 5 years ago
[10:22:46 PM] James de Vries: and hit you in the fucking balls
[10:22:55 PM] James de Vries: erasing one or more of your children
[10:23:02 PM] Dirren Bloo: u watch james. i will learn c++
[10:23:07 PM] Dirren Bloo: and when i finally learn it all
[10:23:22 PM] Dirren Bloo: c++ will fall under the throbbing self loving cock that is AS4
[10:23:44 PM] James de Vries: what exactly are the implications of “falling under” a cock
[10:24:15 PM] James de Vries: is this like you’re at a merry go round and some inconsiderate souls got his 12 foot schlong poking into the spinner and is knocking all the children off their ponies
James/Steve/Lockie/Dylan/Charlie/Whoever the fuck else is in there at the time Chat Logs
[4:43:14 PM] Locky: I just applyed 10 times the force necessary to my pen and wrote a passive aggressive message on the info I gave him and left it on his keyboard.
The extra pressure emphasising my eyeball gouging hate.
[4:44:15 PM] James de Vries: its hard to demonstrate wrath in office-safe ways
[4:53:52 PM] Locky: I think you’re onto something james.. where as I work in like a phoneroom / cubicle.. his office has a door!
Get started on the dismembering door technology and an afterhours installation company and we’re in business lad!
[4:54:24 PM] James de Vries: fuck YES
[4:55:03 PM] James de Vries: it comes in three sub-models
[4:55:10 PM] James de Vries: spring-loaded, weighted, and both
[4:55:27 PM] James de Vries: spring-loaded doesn’t shear as cleanly through the body but it means you don’t have to install additional loadbearing around the door
[4:55:47 PM] Locky: With optional quake exploding body soundwave?
[4:56:22 PM] Locky: I’ll take iteration 3 please!
[4:56:24 PM] James de Vries: weighted is exactly what it sounds like, its a solid steel door 1inch thick with a tungsten carbide tip so that bone offers no resistance
[4:56:29 PM] James de Vries: and both is, well
[4:56:32 PM] James de Vries: we call it “chomp”
[4:56:34 PM] James de Vries: lovingly
[4:57:16 PM] Locky: What’s that?
You’ll take credit card over the phone?
My bosses card will do you say?
[4:57:58 PM] James de Vries: but of course!
[4:58:05 PM] Locky: I’ll take 10 chomps please!
[4:58:26 PM] James de Vries: just supply hours the building will be empty of personnel
[4:58:39 PM] James de Vries: mark the chosen door with the blood of a lamb
[4:58:46 PM] James de Vries: and it shall be done
[4:58:48 PM] Locky: Have you considered developing these for vehicle doors perhaps?
[4:58:55 PM] James de Vries: interesting proposition
[4:59:11 PM] James de Vries: sliding van doors or traditional vehicle models?
[4:59:16 PM] Locky: The options are endless!
[4:59:21 PM] James de Vries: why limit ourselves
[4:59:30 PM] James de Vries: EVERY door could be a deathtrap
[4:59:45 PM] Locky: Plan doors, train doors heck even trapdoors
[4:59:50 PM] James de Vries: Office? CHOMP
[4:59:53 PM] James de Vries: retirement home? CHOMP
[4:59:59 PM] James de Vries: childrens tree house? CHOMP
[5:00:17 PM] James de Vries: if its got a hole in it
[5:00:20 PM] James de Vries: we’ll weaponise it
[5:00:23 PM] James de Vries: thats our companies motto
[5:00:38 PM] James de Vries: the V-series is currently in development
—–
[5:16:20 PM] Locky: Steve I leave here in 15.
Please powder your nose and polish your boots in preparation for your gym buddies arrival.
[5:20:19 PM] Steve – TT: I shall don my best frock
—–
[3:41:19 PM] James de Vries: i am productive but bored
[3:41:26 PM] James de Vries: you should make me less of one and more of the other
[3:41:39 PM] Dirren Bloo: be more productive idiot
—–
[4:09:16 PM] Dirren Bloo: new terraria patch adding shitball loads of new features
[4:09:24 PM] Dirren Bloo: ima check it out, might buy me a few days gameplay ^_^
[4:13:54 PM] Steve – TT: Dylen
[4:14:29 PM] Steve – TT: Please locate the nearest doorknob
[4:14:36 PM] Steve – TT: Then locate your anus
[4:15:03 PM] Steve – TT: And then quickly and firmly join the two in holy matrimony
James/Birkses
Birkses: Being attractive is like playing protoss
—–
[4:13:53 PM] James de Vries: god dammit
[4:13:55 PM] James de Vries: i dropped a two dollar coin
[4:13:59 PM] James de Vries: i won’t be able to concentrate until i find it
[4:14:11 PM] Jordan Birks: AHAHAH i know that feel
[4:14:28 PM] James de Vries: oh jesus fuck i found a burger ring
[4:14:31 PM] James de Vries: how long has that been down there
James/Emily
Emily: Your breath smells like fireworks
—–
Emily: is mayonnaise an instrument?
James de Vries: an instrument of destruction perhaps
—–
James: i was but a young lad at the time
James: didn’t really know much more than to look at the squiggles
James: and buy when it squiggled down
James: but to be fair
James: the squiggle theorem
James: served me pretty fucking well
Emily: This might be the story I was trying to recall when I was saying how you’d lost a lot on the market one time
James: back in the day
Emily: Hehehe
Emily: I want you to make a few million dollars, and get famous enough to tell everyone you did it by watching when the squiggles went down
James: man
James: i want to make a few million dollars
James: so while my friends are away for the weekend
James: i can pay some stonemasons to make a tiny replica castle in their front yard
James: which i will sleep in until they get back
James: and by tiny replica castle i still mean, toolshed-sized
James: and then when they get back and there’s this huge stone structure in their garden and they’re like what the fuck
James: i wind down the drawbridge
James: and wave at them from inside
James: and their kids are like
James: ITS CRAZY UNCLE JAMES
James: and run at me
James: and their parents who are inevitably my friends from a long time
James: roll their eyes and are like this shit again
Emily: Rofl
Emily: I don’t know how your brainain did that
Emily: But this is why you’re my best friend
James: i have recently developed this obsession with changing peoples environments while they’re not observing them
James: in absurd ways
James: like, if somebody has an external hard drive
James: and it’s red
James: you buy a blue one of exactly the same model
James: and before they get to work, you switch the cases
James: so now their hard drive is blue
James: but it still has all the same files
James: and is in exactly the same place
James: and when they come to work and they’re like why is my hard drive blue
James: you’re like huh what
Emily: Have you actually done any of this?
James: no i just think about it a lot
James: i don’t have enough money to justify buying external hard drives just to fuck with people
James: YET
=
Emily: did i ever tell you about how the person who handled the finances at my primary school was a gambler?
James: nope
Emily: the entire time I was there, she was skimming money
James: hah
Emily: ended up stealing over $40, 000 from the school
James: man
Emily: got arrested, and went to jail
James: the things i could do with 40,000
Emily: i fucking now
Emily: know*
Emily: and all she did was put it in a machine with nothing in return
Emily: that’s one of the things i dont get about gambling
Emily: you get so little back
Emily: and you invest so much that had you just put it in a savings account
Emily: you could have just BOUGHT whatever you wanted
James: yeah
James: gambling is pretty fucking stupid
James: saving is the way to go
James: but now that i’ve unlocked this next level shit
James: i’m pretty jazzed about it
James: fuck 5% interest, i do that shit in a week
James: call me back when your compound interest can double your money before you’re too old to use your money to get bitches
James: can you imagine how much stored chemical energy goes to waste in a bushfire?
James: i bet you could power the whole planet for a week with a single australian bushfire
James: also i’m gonna hit the gay
James: ROFL
James: AHAHAHA
=
=
James: you keen for more mechbash?
Emily: quite possibly
Emily: though if this crashing thing keeps happening…
James: yeah that shits gayer than two men fucking
Emily: yeah
Emily: I don’t know why the fuck it’s doing it
James: just a buggy game
James: games are buggy these days
James: unreal 1 from 1997 or whenever it was
James: you could fly that game into the world trade centre and it wouldn’t crash
James: now you download the latest 10gb AAA title
James: drive over a piece of paper and suddenly your tank blows up
—–
[12:03:57 AM] Emily Chirnside: HAPPY BIRTHDAY
[12:04:46 AM] James de Vries: oh shit its my birthday rofl
—–
James: You’re a…….
James: whats the opposite of a disgrace
Emily: I don’t know
James: well thats what YOU are!!
—–
Emily: So those little baby carrots you buy in tins, or in America in bags
James: mm
Emily: Are big carrots that are cut down to be little carrots
James: whaaaat
Emily: Seriously
James: thats not a baby carrot
—–
EMILY: Did you wanna hang out today?
ME: What I am going to do today
ME: Is sit in this chair
ME: Moving only to put things into or take things out of my body
—–
Emily: thank you!
—–
Emily: I want to tell you a story
James: Is it going to be boring like the last one?
—–
(2:48:22 PM) James: nudges are so retarded
(2:48:43 PM) James: i don’t think they even lasted 20 seconds after i found out they existed
(2:48:46 PM) James: before turning them off
(2:48:49 PM) James: same goes for winks
(2:48:54 PM) James: that shit was retarded
(2:49:07 PM) Emily: ugh
(2:49:09 PM) Emily: hate all
(2:49:15 PM) Emily: I think I have nudges disabled
(2:49:18 PM) Nudging Emily…
(2:49:22 PM) Emily: FUCJ
(2:49:25 PM) Emily: FUCK
—–
Emily: Would you rather be a pistachio or a shopping trolley?
James: Shopping trolley
Emily: Why’s that?
James: Goes faster
Emily: I don’t know, pistachios go pretty fast at christmas.
—–
(1:51:53 AM) James: oh man i took a shit today
(1:52:06 AM) James: it can’t even be described as a shit
(1:52:07 AM) James: it was like
(1:52:10 AM) Emily: an actual shit! like a poo!
(1:52:13 AM) James: a violation
(1:52:17 AM) James: a brutality
(1:52:24 AM) James: it tore my sphincter asunder, emily
(1:52:33 AM) James: it was like giving birth to asphalt
(1:52:40 AM) Emily: o.O
(1:52:42 AM) James: when i wiped there was more blood than poo
(1:52:55 AM) Emily: r u retelling my story?
(1:52:57 AM) James: i just tried to poo this evening and then decided against it because it hurt
(1:53:03 AM) James: no this actually happened today
(1:53:26 AM) Emily: we both have torn sphincters o’0
(1:53:32 AM) Emily: o.O*
(1:53:32 AM) James: I GUESS THAT MAKES US
(1:53:34 AM) James: BUM BUDDIES
(1:53:36 AM) James: ROFLMAO
—–
(1:13:56 AM) Emily: i have never drunk tomato juice
(1:14:24 AM) James: neither have i but thats because it sounds gross
(1:14:57 AM) Emily: it DOES sound gross
(1:15:03 AM) Emily: BUT it’s succeeded
(1:15:12 AM) Emily: which suggests it might b amazing
(1:15:29 AM) James: you know what else succeeded?
(1:15:38 AM) James: apartheid
—–
Emily: Have you ever played mao?
James: What is it?
Emily: Its a card game where you aren’t told the rules, you have to figure them out by being penalised for breaking them.
James: So kind of like women?
Emily: Well played, sir.
—–
Emily: Oh man
Emily: I’ve been meaning to ask you
Emily: Was the last thing you said to me tonight, as you left
Emily: “Oh, my knickers are falling out?”
James: Yes.
—–
Emily C says (10:49 PM)
- i just realised
- that i think my life will be complete
- if i have a onesie
James de Vries says (10:49 PM)
- whats a onesie
Emily C says (10:50 PM)
- really?
James de Vries says (10:50 PM)
- ….?
Emily C says (10:50 PM)
- hang on
- <link to a picture of a dark-skinned man wearing a onesie>
Emily C says (10:52 PM)
- there we go
James de Vries says (10:55 PM)
- i see
- does he come with the pyjamas?
—–
James de Vries says (9:22 PM)
i just ate beef noodles and veggies and stuff, lite and easy meal
i always feel like such a twat when i eat one of those because i’m trying to put on weight
but they’re fast
and its a change from fried rice
Emily C says (9:27 PM)
yeah
eating light and easy meals is pretty retarded for u
James de Vries says (9:28 PM)
my parents insist its “more nutritious” than the other things i eat
Emily C says (9:34 PM)
it’s more nutritious if u are counting vitamins and protein
Emily C says (9:35 PM)
not so if counting energy
James de Vries says (9:35 PM)
yeah
that said i ate ALL my curry for lunch today
and they give me a LOT of rice under it
Emily C says (9:35 PM)
and the rice?
James de Vries says (9:35 PM)
yes
all of everything
barring onion
and the chopsticks
James de Vries says (9:36 PM)
although i would sooner eat the chopsticks than the onion, if it came down to it
Emily C says (9:36 PM)
rofl
—–
James: Once i had a really good conversation with a tranny
Emily: Oh I remember her, she was the chick with the thing
Emily/Other chat logs
Nurse: *coughs*
Emily: Are you sick too?
Nurse: Yeah
Emily: seems like EVERYONE is sick around here
Nurse: This is a hospital
James/His Employer chat logs
James: Ignore the dicks
Employer: Whats with all the dicks
James/Jase chat logs
James: I’m not a big chocolate guy
Jase: No, you’re a skinny white guy!
- Raucous laughter*
James/Joshykins
[9:17:14 PM] YOSHI: *Posts a picture of him thats on facebook*
[9:17:29 PM] YOSHI: i look strange
[9:17:39 PM] James de Vries: yes joshy, you look strange
[9:17:53 PM] YOSHI: stranger*
[9:18:12 PM] James de Vries: no i’d say thats about par for the course that is your face
James/Klumpert
James: wait, whats the essay on
James: and why the fuck are you in college at fifteen
Klumpert: xD
Klumpert: im pro liek dat
Klumpert: 16 in april
James: i was half way through typing “are you like some kind of russian genius man” until i remembered your probes vs those hellions
James: then i backspaced it and sat in silence.
—–
James: why the fuck do i have so many readers in israel
James: seriously
James: 84 in australia, because thats where all my m8s live
James: wtf
Klumpert: O.o
James: 77 in the US because thats where everybody else in the world lives
Klumpert: lol
James: then 68 in israel because what the fuck
James: seriously what
Klumpert: hmm, its a terorrist plot
James: i dont understand
Klumpert: you are somehow convulging information about Australia
James: i should probably stop making jokes about jews
Klumpert: and how best to destroy it
Klumpert: lazer eyes
James: lol
James: pie
James/Shambo chat logs
Shambo: How would he reach the pedals?
James: Maybe he could use the huge dick that’s growing out of his forehead.
James/Mike chat logs
Mike:
Mind if I math spam again?
James:
sure, spam away
Mike:
Ok…
James:
spam set to maximum
full spam ahead!
fire in the spam
eyes set to spam
Mike:
I’m receiving approximately (Loling at everything your saying right now XD) approximately 4 MSN messages a minute
James:
SPAM! and the dirt is gone!
Mike:
each contains an estimated adverage of 30 characters
James:
thats no moon
thats a spamstation!
_____
(Whilst discussing fallout 3)
James:
and i wasn’t going to ask the girl to do it because she’s a female character who isn’t tough as nails, but also isn’t a wuss
and the world needs more of those
Mike:
True this
James:
maybe she’ll find a well-balanced male character and have lots of little well-balanced npc children who’ll grow up to be well-balanced npc’s in the next console generation
Mike:
Wishful thinking
_____
James: i fixed it in TWO LINES
James: after 12 hours of thinking and fixing
Mike:HAHAHAHA
James: i was SO rage
James: but it was still awesome to see 20 balls bouncing around flawlessly
James: that sounds so wrong
Mike: XD
Mike: Ah well
Mike: It must’ve been SOMEWHAT fun to do
Mike: Tinker with your balls for 12 hours.
James: it was good brain exercise but it was frustrating that i couldn’t make anything happen right
James: and this is SO going in chat logs
Mike quotes something from earlier in the conversation:
Mike says: (7:19:20 PM) Did you stun the teacher with your flashy balls? James - huzzah! says: (7:19:20 PM) and its awesome James - huzzah! says: (7:19:29 PM) you'll have to be more specific!
Mike: Did you flash your teacher with your stunning balls?
James: haha well i did do pretty well in one of the orals
Mike: HAHAHAHAHA
James/Archaon Chat Logs
Shadyjames #stompers: I am your biggest fan
archaion`: im a lizard
—–
Shadyjames: Hi
archaion`: hi
Shadyjames: That is all
archaion`: ok.
James/Nathanael Chat Logs
– Mister Sandman – says (1:33 AM):
- why up late so
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:33 AM):
- nah man i’m always up this late
- combination of starcraft and msn normally
- but tonight is a special night
- tonight i’m filling out my stab money form
– Mister Sandman – says (1:33 AM):
- fapping?
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:33 AM):
- so i can get stab money
– Mister Sandman – says (1:33 AM):
- stab money?
- like compo?
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:33 AM):
- yeah man
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:34 AM):
- lost income compo
– Mister Sandman – says (1:34 AM):
- but
- abbos
- dont have money
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:34 AM):
- exactly
- so i take it from the GOVERNMENT
– Mister Sandman – says (1:34 AM):
- fuck you
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:34 AM):
- and subsequently from all the people who really need it
– Mister Sandman – says (1:34 AM):
- talking my taxes
- that i dont pay
- lol
- how much compo/
– Mister Sandman – says (1:35 AM):
- ?
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:35 AM):
- i don’t know yet
– Mister Sandman – says (1:35 AM):
related news:
http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/two-men-stabbed-in-sydneys-west/story-e6frfku0-1226342065085
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:35 AM):
- but i was out of action for a few months
– Mister Sandman – says (1:35 AM):
– Mister Sandman – says (1:36 AM):
- ball park figure?
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:37 AM):
- i’m hoping for something between one and two thousand
- theres a guaranteed like 300 bucks for replacing shit that was damaged when i got stabbed
- ie my clothes that got stolen by the hospital staff
- cunts.
– Mister Sandman – says (1:37 AM):
- lol
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:37 AM):
- the rest is lost income
- and it really depends how much i can tell them i WOULD have worked during that time
– Mister Sandman – says (1:38 AM):
- well you cant excatly keep
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:38 AM):
- without giving away the fact i have a job and am just getting paid under the table
– Mister Sandman – says (1:38 AM):
- your clothes
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:38 AM):
- yeah but they could give them back
- wankers
– Mister Sandman – says (1:38 AM):
- awesome blood stain shirt
- momento?
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:38 AM):
- they gave me THAT
- the shirt with a big fuck-off hole in it
- not my jeans
- that i hardly even bled on
– Mister Sandman – says (1:38 AM):
- hahaha
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:38 AM):
- not my shoes, that i hardly even bled on
– Mister Sandman – says (1:39 AM):
- thats so funny
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:39 AM):
- yeah man
- it wasn’t the stab guy
- it was just the nurses or something
- they’re like oh bro these jeans are sick
– Mister Sandman – says (1:39 AM):
hahhaaha
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:39 AM):
- theres hardly even any blood on them
– Mister Sandman – says (1:39 AM):
- score
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:39 AM):
- oh and these shoes score
- mine now bitch
– Mister Sandman – says (1:39 AM):
- lololl
– Mister Sandman – says (1:40 AM):
- oh well
- a month of work is around 2k
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:41 AM):
- sweet
- i’m keen for cash hey
- my telstra options have gone up quite a bit recently but i need more money
- MOAR MONEY
– Mister Sandman – says (1:41 AM):
- lol
- telstra will go up
- nbn monies
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:41 AM):
- my goal in life is actually just to collect a ball of cash so large i don’t need to work anymore
- and can live off investments
- and become a pro gamer or something
– Mister Sandman – says (1:41 AM):
- my goal in life is to become PM
– Mister Sandman – says (1:42 AM):
- and get peopel to kiss my ass
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:42 AM):
- well if you ever make it to federal election
- i promise not to show anybody the chat logs of you saying you’re only there so you can get people to kiss your ass
– Mister Sandman – says (1:42 AM):
- gee thanks
- if I ever
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:42 AM):
- unless they pay me
- a LOT of money
– Mister Sandman – says (1:42 AM):
- lol
- i will deny all claims
– Mister Sandman – says (1:43 AM):
- shouldnt of said that
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:43 AM):
- didn’t work for clinton lol
– Mister Sandman – says (1:43 AM):
- lol
- you’ll delete this before
- updating computer and all taht
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:44 AM):
- we’ll see
- i’ve still got shit from seven years ago
– Mister Sandman – says (1:44 AM):
- same
- but will it be
- 20 years?>
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:44 AM):
- touché
- i don’t know if i’m committed enough
– Mister Sandman – says (1:44 AM):
- they wont care
– Mister Sandman – says (1:45 AM):
- i would be doing such a good job
- they wont care
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:45 AM):
- its funny because even though i know you are some kind of military experiment to make a hateful bastard ranga midget
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:46 AM):
- i would still prefer you as pm
- to either of the current candidates
– Mister Sandman – says (1:46 AM):
- lol
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:46 AM):
- and would gladly vote for you over them
– Mister Sandman – says (1:46 AM):
- im not a midget
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:46 AM):
- yeah
- well
- it was only an experiment
- they’ll get it right next time
– Mister Sandman – says (1:46 AM):
- haha
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:46 AM):
- three out of four aint bad
– Mister Sandman – says (1:47 AM):
- touche
- well gillard is poo on a stick
- and abbott lesser of the two evils i guess
- all heil the mad monk
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:47 AM):
- ones a ranga born in wales, ones a backwards sexist male
- quote unquote the chaser
– Mister Sandman – says (1:48 AM):
- well
- sexist male
- that isnt a bad thing
James – Friday is optional pants day says (1:48 AM):
- heh
——
– Mister Sandman – says (11:13 PM):
Nathanael: want to hear a joke
James: but i’m talking to one
—–
– Mister Sandman – says (8:09 PM):
- someone tagged you as Jamus?
James – Loves wikipedia! says (8:09 PM):
- that would’ve been kaitlyn or jessica
- or amelia
- or kara….
- lol theres a lot of people who call me jamus
– Mister Sandman – says (8:10 PM):
- sounds like anus
- so you are like a wierd shaped anus?
James – Loves wikipedia! says (8:11 PM):
- so are you like a normal shaped penis?
– Mister Sandman – says (8:11 PM):
- well I am an elcock
James – Loves wikipedia! says (8:11 PM):
- touché
I then quoted this chat log to Matthew:
Matthew: LOL
Matthew: on that subject
Matthew: new zero punctuation
James: LOL SMOOTH
James: pun not intended
—–
– Mister Sandman – says (7:53 PM):
- lol
- well
- i dont need votes
- i just need the queen to love me
– Mister Sandman – says (7:54 PM):
- i’ll marry one of my sons to the old hag
James – Loves wikipedia! says (7:55 PM):
- beastiality much?
– Mister Sandman – says (7:55 PM):
- so?
James – Loves wikipedia! says (7:55 PM):
- i still haven’t decided which ones the beast
– Mister Sandman – says (7:55 PM):
- he has to take one for the team
- ouch ouch
James – Loves wikipedia! says (7:55 PM):
- zing
—–
Mister Sandman – says:
- you going to schoolies?
James – Know thy enemy says:
- nothx
- if i wanted to get beat on by drunk fat people
- i’d call your mum
- zing
—–
– Mister Sandman – its too damn hot! says (12:22 PM):
- man, im hungry!
- and bored
- should of taken the day off
James – Undaunted says (12:22 PM):
- then you should eat, and you will be neither
- because you’ll be eating
– Mister Sandman – its too damn hot! says (12:23 PM):
- lol, remeber i dont eat
James – Undaunted says (12:23 PM):
- and then if you’re lucky you’ll need to take a shit, which will keep you entertained for even longer
- oh
– Mister Sandman – its too damn hot! says (12:23 PM):
- and i cant eat shapes anymore
James – Undaunted says (12:23 PM):
- but if you don’t eat, then how did you get so full of shit?
– Mister Sandman – its too damn hot! says (12:23 PM):
- its a gift
Gaming chat logs
Team fortress 2
(Before a TF2 match, for Capping for a Cause)
wb. Whitemagic: You guys ready to cap for cancer?
Other team: Its diabetes
wb. Whitemagic: whatever
Heroes of Newerth
Host: Shadygomez, your KDR is too high, but i’m going to let you stay.
Shadygomez: Because of my ANTICS? or my CHARM? <3
Host: On the condition you shut the fuck up.
Shadygomez: Pants.
Counter strike
This particular event happened during the 24-hour lan party
/Shady spams yakety sax over voice chat
Random: I’ve muted you btw, dickhead.
Shady: I’m playing counter strike at 2:30 in the morning. I have already lost what dignity I had.
Shady: Zing.
OpenTTD
Matthew: We have too much money
James: I know, lets make our own island!
Matthew: Please don’t
James: Too late =D
(That island, incidentally, cost 1.5 million dollars. All of our in-game money at the time)
—–
James: I’m hitting buses with my trains
Matthew: You’re awful
James: GOT ONE!
(Five minutes later, matthew sets up a train line in roughly the same area, across the same road)
Matthew: I just blew up two buses in as many minutes
James: Nice
Matthew: They were pink ones
James: Try hitting the red ones, they seem to be better at dodging
—–
Trivia: Later in that same game, Matthew unleashed a procession of eight armoured vans along the same stretch of road, and lost three to his own trains on the trip from one end to the other.
92 passengers, 8 vehicles, and 36 bags of valuables were harmed during the making of this chat log.
—–
James: I spent the while directly prior to going afk to setting up a mainline of my own.
James: Its unprofitable of course, its just for testing, but everything runs smoothly
Matthew: i c
James: And i capped a red water tanker, which was nice.
—–
James: I’ve been afk since 1997, so I missed all that.
TA Spring
[10:10:31 AM] ima get a cookie
[10:12:16 AM] back
[10:12:23 AM] what, i don’t have a cookie
[10:12:25 AM] oh, i ated it =D
[10:12:37 AM] brb more cookies
Left 4 Dead
Random: Ok, heres the plan. You stay behind with the bots, while i run ahead and come back with a chopper
Shady: And then GET TO ZE CHOPPAR?
Shady: 3. ???
Shady: 4. Profit!
James/Amber Chat Logs
(11:52:44 AM) Amber Cox: His face looked cool though
(11:52:55 AM) James: i don’t remember his face before it was all smushed and dead
(11:53:06 AM) Amber Cox: I’m probably thinking of his dead face
(11:53:10 AM) James: ROFLMAO
—–
(12:33:55 AM) Amber: what is this “nice” you speak of? D;<
(12:34:40 AM) James: i think its when people take their rings off before they pimp slap you
—–
(11:20:59 PM) James: FUCK
(11:21:01 PM) James: EVERYTHING
(11:21:10 PM) Amber Cox: OKAY BRB
—–
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): gay
Shadyjames: oh hey
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): still gay
Shadyjames: no u
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): super gay
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): you are
Shadyjames: i am so heterosexual it would blow your mind
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): lies
Shadyjames: you couldn’t even handle how heterosexual i am
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): prove it
Shadyjames: YOU COME UP HERE AND MAKE ME
Shadyjames: also can’t
Shadyjames: girlfriend
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): xD
Shadyjames: but i assure you whoever it is that happens to be the target of my heterosexuality, beware
Shadyjames: ooookay this conversation got weird fast
Shadyjames: how are you? 😀
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): lolol i’m good xD installing aion
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): you?
Shadyjames: got bored and nobody was online (YOU WERENT REPLYING BTW) so i launched steam to play la noire but then changed my mind
Shadyjames: and then look who it is!
Shadyjames: bang
Shadyjames: amber
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): gay D;<
Shadyjames: yes.
Shadyjames: yes she is.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): sure is ;(
Shadyjames: aw no i didn’t mean it like that, i just mean you want to bang chicks is all! i think you’re super 😀
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°): rofl
—–
James: What do you think got into Ali?
Amber: Jesse.
James: zing!
—–
Amber: You suck my battleship
Amber: sunk*
Amber: omg bad typo
James: hahahahah
—–
Amber: OHNOEZ
Amber: I hope there are no spiders under this desk.
James: hopefully not =P
James: i hope there are no spiders IN THIS LAPTOP
James: how unexpected would THAT be
James: o_O
Amber: xD
Amber: SHUTUP.
Amber: Sorry.
James: just all of a sudden you’re typing
James: and then the SPACEBAR FLIES OFF AND SPIDERS COME OUT AAH
James: and its like aaaah fuck spiders!
Amber: omg
Amber: I JUST MADE THE WEIRDEST NOOISE
James: my only weakness!
Amber: wtf
James: other than chocolate
Amber: lmao
James: and cute girls
—–
(8:46:29 PM) Amber: lololol sorry for slow reply
(8:46:31 PM) Amber: i like this song
(8:46:32 PM) Amber: Dx
(8:46:35 PM) James: oic
(8:46:44 PM) James: speaking of songs
(8:46:52 PM) James: my computer is so close to the toilet
(8:46:57 PM) James: i can poo w/o taking off my headphones
(8:46:58 PM) James: its amazing
(8:47:08 PM) James: my pooing experience now has a soundtrack
(8:47:32 PM) Amber: looool
(8:47:35 PM) Amber: lovely xD
(8:47:39 PM) James: if i wanted to poo listening to this
(8:47:40 PM) James: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPZtigbbkz4
(8:47:43 PM) James: i could do it
(8:47:59 PM) James: brb going to try
(8:48:11 PM) Amber: loool
(8:49:12 PM) Amber: i still haven’t seen that movie xD
(8:50:05 PM) Amber: omg that’d be cool to crap to
(8:50:07 PM) Amber: looool
(8:50:18 PM) Amber: past like 1:40
(8:50:36 PM) James: mission accomplished
(8:50:43 PM) Amber: roflll thanks for that
(8:50:44 PM) James: aside from some minor pooing while laughing difficulties
(8:50:54 PM) James: i actually managed to do a pretty glorious sync
(8:51:00 PM) Amber: xD
(8:51:03 PM) James: i even pulled my pants up just as the song ended
(8:51:09 PM) James: 8/10 would shit to again
(8:51:10 PM) Amber: oh well done xD
James/Orange Chat Logs
=FA= Orange [Capped]: outside?
=FA= Orange [Capped]: i might get raped 🙁
=FA= Shadyjames: you might
=FA= Shadyjames: i can’t
=FA= Shadyjames: no anus
—–
=FA= Orange: you need to do a page on wow
=FA= Orange: and its addictions
=FA= Shadyjames: thats an idea
=FA= Orange: guest speak orange
=FA= Shadyjames: lol
=FA= Orange: now orange, what do you have to say about wow addiction.
=FA= Shadyjames: “wow made me lose my boyfriend”
=FA= Orange: ‘brb, gotta kill kel’thuzad and hope my 2h drops so i can improve my dps
=FA= Shadyjames: “he said ‘theres such a thing as TOO gay’ ”
James/Samwise Chat Logs
James: I should just take two 40g doses of balls and get it over with
James: and don’t ask me if thats how much balls actually weigh, because i haven’t checked
James: Maybe i could google it
James : oh GOD! I can’t believe i just said that!
James/SammyB Chat Logs
James – Turning tides says (8:03 PM): lolwut
SammyB – Causing Tides says (8:03 PM): yeah
SammyB – Causing Tides says (8:03 PM): damn straight
James – Turning tides says (8:03 PM): xD
SammyB – Causing Tides says (8:03 PM): im like the moon
James – Turning tides says (8:03 PM): indeed
SammyB – Causing Tides says (8:05 PM): im shiny and mysterious, and yet im strangely distant
James – Turning tides says (8:05 PM): also you’re pale
SammyB – Causing Tides says (8:05 PM): thats true
James – Turning tides says (8:05 PM): and people worship you sometimes
SammyB – Causing Tides says (8:05 PM): YES
James – Turning tides says (8:05 PM): and you’re only visible for 50% of the day/night cycle
James – Turning tides says (8:06 PM): and if you fell on somebody, they’d die.
James – Turning tides says (8:06 PM): this works on so many levels!
James/CJ Chat Logs
James: its popular for microphone spamming in-game
CJ: microphone spamming!!!
CJ: nice
James: yeah, i’ve done mic spamming before, but only in counter strike
James: where everybodys probably a dickhead for all i know
James: (irony)
—–
James: you’ll probably laugh so hard that your bowels simply explode
CJ: LOL
CJ: *poop comes out of ears*
James: rofl
James: “Hey, this doesn’t taste like snot”
—–
CJ: Its so cute when you call me retarded
James: Thats the most retarded thing I’ve heard in my life!
James/Kaitlyn Chat Logs
[1:07:07 PM] *** Katie sent Last Day (5).JPG ***
[1:07:14 PM] Katie: I just found this 😛
[1:07:43 PM] James de Vries: whoa
[1:07:52 PM] James de Vries: i know exactly whose nuts those are
[1:07:56 PM] Katie: hahaha
[1:07:56 PM] James de Vries: but why do you have a photo of that
[1:08:03 PM] James de Vries: thats so weird
[1:08:08 PM] Katie: Im sorting out my photos
[1:08:15 PM] Katie: its in my last day of school folder
[1:08:21 PM] James de Vries: oh last day of school
[1:08:21 PM] Katie: those are your nuts right?
[1:08:26 PM] James de Vries: yep
[1:08:27 PM] James de Vries: those are mine
——
Kait: i didnt realise how many bras and undies i had!
Kait: like 1m x 60cm x 15cm
James: whoaaaa
James: how many boobs do you have?
—–
Kaitlyn: stupid james
Kaitlyn: so smart
Kaitlyn: shut up
James/Aaron D Chat Logs
Aaron: brb
Aaron: ima take 1 of them shits i hear so much about
—–
Aaron: I need more binds
James: You should try something faux-british
James: How about a spot of rape, wot wot?
James: OMG I’M BINDING THAT RIGHT NOW
—–
Aaron: At least i dont have aids
James: What makes you think i have aids
Aaron: U got knifed, by a black man
Aaron: Ergo, aids.
James: Yeah well i may have had a long hard object forced into a hole i didn’t know i had by a big black man
James: BUT AT LEAST I’M NOT GAY LOL
—–
Aaron: Good afternoon james free for suit shopping saturday morning?
James: I think you will find saturday doesn’t have a morning
Aaron: that is where you are wrong, i have to take my rents to the airport at 5am
James: shits fucked
Aaron: Don’t sleep friday night so its just a bright continuation of friday night, fixed! 😀
James: You know thats actually genuinely a really good idea. When is this happening?
Aaron: I dunno i was thinking meet up around 930
-
- days later**
Aaron: Do you need a lift saturday?
James: Yes
Aaron: Okies see u at 5am 😀
James: sweet shitting fuck
Aaron: more like 830 that too early?
James: i think i can manage that
Aaron: it’s k we get to try on suits and look handsome and shit 😀
Aaron: cept i’ll be more handsome 😀
James: save your bragging till after the SWIMSUIT CONTEST
Aaron: please u can’t handle all this
James/Matthew/Aaron* Chat Logs
James: GET TO ZE CHOPPAR
James: ITS GOING TO BLAO
Mattthew: and there’s no choppar yet because the helipad disappeared after the latest renderer update -_-
Mattthew: i’ll try to fix it asap
Aaron: lol?
Aaron: what game is this?
James: Wow, way to break the world matthew
Mattthew: 😀
Aaron: lol
Mattthew: i’ve just been fixing it all afternoon
Matthew: i wasn’t expecting it to be NEEDED, geez
Matthew: i was too busy making the lights around it be shiny
James: lol, *helicopter flies right through the helipad and crashes*
Mattthew: oh yea
Matthew: forgot to mention
Matthew: collision detection is kind of nonexistant as well :/
”* i just realised aaron was kind of unnecessary in this conversation 😛
James/Sparky Chat Logs
Sparky: Did you take your meds, we have a match tonight
James: Yes sir!
James: All drugged up and ready for action
Sparky: That doesn’t sound weird at all
James/TinkerBel Chat Logs
[1:28:19 PM] tinker*bel*: Yeah, but I will make you kill yourself… But don’t worry
[1:29:06 PM] tinker*bel*: It will be in a tragic way
[1:30:08 PM] tinker*bel*: You will feel guilty about the insane man
[1:30:13 PM] tinker*bel*: because of reasons
[1:30:15 PM] tinker*bel*: And then
[1:30:16 PM] tinker*bel*: BUM
[1:30:19 PM] tinker*bel*: Death
James/Rastilin Chat Logs
Rastilin: When I was reading that story, I had visions of the opposing lawyer jumping on the table and just issuing forth a 200 foot long stream of urine. While screaming “THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF YOU”.
James: you are now my favorite person
James/Nathan Chat Logs
Nathan: that and talkin to chick
Nathan: lol
James – FAGGOTRY IN, NEUTRALITY OUT: The lack of a PLURAL there makes me immediately curious
James – FAGGOTRY IN, NEUTRALITY OUT: you big manly man
James/Lewis Chat Logs
Lewis: You play runescape?
James: Nope
James: mmos are boring
James: especially boring mmos
James/Anonymousrandompeoplewhodidntwanttheirnameonmysite Chat Logs
James: banana wins
>=O
Anon: wtf.
James: banana always wins
its like the rules
Anon: no
James: scissors, paper, shotgun, banana
—–
James: morning
Anon: huh ?
James: haven’t you ever had anybody greet you with “morning” before?
Anon: Noppe It Just Hii ?
Anon: All Heyy
James: heh
Anon: Huh Wtf ??
Anon: Ohhkk Lol Really Matee ?/
Anon: Huh ??
James: YA RLY!
Anon: Y a Rly ???
Anon: Wat Dat Meann ??
James: you’re not very up on the lingo are you
James: http://mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/ya_rly.jpg
Anon: Lingoo ??
James: terminology
Anon: terminology ??
James: i’m fighting a losing battle here
—–
Anon: hey
James: hi again
Anon: hi
I then paste this chat log into CJ’s window, and comment:
James: welcome to the shallow end of the gene pool.
Mike Chat Logs
Kirstie: i’m going to a funeral on friday…
Mike: Ah, nice.
Mim Chat Logs
Mim: Not like, HATE hate, just like, he-should-die hate
James/Wrecktum (Shamboner) Chat Logs
Wrecktum: Wow what a sick surround
James: That was like more than a surround, he had lings in the marines somehow
Wrecktum: It was like a double surround
James: Like a doughnut surround
Wrecktum: With queens putting sprinkles on top.
Wrecktum: I just RAPED your analogy
James: Well it was pretty easy to rape, it already had a hole in it
Multi-participant chat logs
Emily: You give a little, you get a little
James: Thats how relationships work
Aaron: Thats what its all about
Emily: No, thats the hokey pokey.
—–
(Lots of talking)
James: Lo, bishes.
(thirty second pause)
James: It would appear i have stalled the conversation
James: My work here is done
(James leaves the conversation and returns 15 seconds later)
James: Psych!
—–
Amber: My dingo eats cheeseburgers
CJ: My dingo eats babies
James: Brb eating babies
James: Back
James: Couldn’t find any babies
Amber: rofl
James: Does anybody want to help me make some babies? =D
CJ: Hahahahaha
Discussion ¬